The Master of Disguise

                                               This is my first review of a very bad movie.

    My favorite SNL cast member is the talented Dana Carvey.  He does great imitations, that's my opinion. He does great characters on SNL like Garth from Wayne's World, The Church Lady, The Grumpy Old Man on Weekend Update, and Hans from Pumpin' Up with Hans and Franz.

     But the movie I'm gonna review that he did, NOT HIS BEST WORK. This movie is called The Master of Disguise. It also stars Jennifer Esposito (The Affair), Harold Gould (The Sting) and Brent Spiner (Independence Day and Star Trek: Next Generation).

      Pistachio Disguisey (great name, NOT) is a sweet natured Italian server at a restaurant owned by his father Fabbrizo (what kind of name is that?). He belongs to a family who is magically skilled at being masters of disguise. One day, a criminal mastermind, Devlin Bowman, kidnaps Fabbrizo in an attempt to steal the world's precious treasures. Now, Pistachio has to inherit the power to become the master of disguise in order to save the day. (Let's see how that goes...)

  Without a doubt, thumbs down. One of the worst movies I've ever seen. In fact, it holds a 1% rotten on Rotten Tomatoes.  The storyline isn't that good. The humor is too cheap, and there's too many fart jokes. I really can't stand toilet humor. The main problem is that Dana Carvey got too carried away with his talent of impressions. He can do better than this. I mean, if they do another Wayne's World, that would be better, but I doubt seeing that happening. 

  

PARENTS GUIDE: There's some raunchy humor every here and there such as a reference to private parts. Not much profanity. Lots of slapping violence, since the characters, for some reason, don't believe in fighting with fists. 

DID YOU KNOW?: Dana Carvey made this movie for his children, because at the time, he didn't made any family friendly movies. This was Dana Carvey's last film appearance until 2011 in another terrible movie, Jack and Jill with Adam Sandler and Al Pacino. 

The many characters of Dana Carvey. To see this clip, click here

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/opening-monologue/2870408

To see this clip, click here

                                   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XxekvLlQYY

The Graduate

"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?" 

   
     This iconic film is one of my all time favorites. Dustin Hoffman's big break in Mike Nichol's production of The Graduate. Also starring Anne Bancroft (The Miracle Worker and To Be or Not To Be) as Mrs. Robinson, and Katherine Ross (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid).
     This is the story of Benjamin Braddock (Hoffman), a college graduate who isn't sure what to do with his future. During a welcome home party, Mrs. Robinson takes Benjamin to her home and seduces him. This leads into an affair between the two. They meet regularly in a hotel. One day, Mrs. Robinson warned Benjamin to stay away from her daughter, Elaine (Katherine Ross). But Ben's father (William Daniels from Boy Meets World) goads him to go out with Elaine. It was then that Ben fell in love with Elaine. But when Elaine found out that he's having an affair with her mother, she wants nothing to do with Ben. As much as I want to tell more of the story, I'm not gonna give away the ending. But the ending, by the way, is awesome. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
    I love this movie. It's well filmed, the story moves you, and the music by Simon & Garfunkel is great. I especially love Dustin Hoffman's performance in this movie. I've seen him in other excellent performances in Tootsie, Rain Man and Hook. But I think The Graduate is my favorite Dustin Hoffman movie.
               

       PARENTS GUIDE: In my opinion, I think this movie should be rated PG-13 for these reasons: Mrs. Robinson and Benjamin, who is 20 to 21 in the movie, have a sexual affair and is intended that they made love in a few scenes. Also, there's some brief nudity. There's some language in the movie and some violence at the end of the movie. 

        DID YOU KNOW?: Dustin Hoffman was originally set to be in Mel Brook's movie The Producers when an opportunity to audition for this movie came up. Robert Redford screen tested with Candace Bergen for the lead. He was rejected by Mike Nichols because he didn't think Redford could nail the role as Benjamin. 

Hello, Darkness, my old friend...

Edward Scissorhands

   As we end Tim Burton week, I saved one of the best for last. Edward Scissorhands. Starring Johnny Depp (in his first Tim Burton movie), Dianne Wiest, Winona Ryder (Beetlejuice and Stranger Things), Alan Arkin, Anthony Michael Hall (Breakfast Club and Vacation),  Kathy Baker, and Vincent Price in his final film role.
     Once upon a time, there was a man named Edward who was created by an inventor who died while finishing his creation, leaving Edward with scissors for hands. One day, Peg Boggs, an Avon representative, entered the castle where the inventor once lived and discovers Edward. She decided to take Edward home with her. Edward has to adapt to his new life with the environment and things he isn't used to. Soon, he shows that he had a talent of doing haircuts and making sculptures out of hedges and ice. From that, Edward earned respect from others. But unfortunately, life like this won't last this long for Edward...
     This movie is so beautiful! Everything, like I said about Sweeney Todd, is very Burtonesque, but this time, everything's colorful and heartwarming. I almost cried at the end. I especially loved Edward for being friendly and gentle. I also loved the fact that Burton used Avon as a product placement throughout the movie. My mom used to sell Avon products back in the day. Vincent Price was great as the inventor, acting nice instead of scary. And Anthony Michael Hall made a great villain. The movie itself was a thrill to watch.

       Parents Guide: This movie is rated PG-13. There's some curse words, but nothing too strong. There is some sexuality in the movie such as a woman making an orgasmic face while Edward gives her a haircut. There's some blood too, but not a lot.
 
        Did You Know?: Edward says only 169 words in the movie. Vincent Price's role was meant to be larger, but due to his condition with Parkinson's disease and illness with emphysema, Tim Burton had to cut his part short. The boy on the Slip-N-Slide at the beginning was a young Nick Carter from The Backstreet Boys.   And get this, Edward's puppy dog haircuts were real!

Next time you see snow, think of Edward. 

Ed Wood

      Lights! Camera! ACTION! Today, I'll be reviewing Tim Burton's Ed Wood, starring Burton regular, Johnny Depp, Sarah Jessica Parker (Hocus Pocus and Sex and the City), the late Martin Landau (North by Northwest), Bill Murray (Ghostbusters), and Patricia Arquette (Boyhood).
    This is a true story about a misunderstood filmmaker named Edward D. Wood Jr. (Depp) who wants to fulfill his dream on making great movies but comes out too weird. Ed Wood had no money, he didn't own a movie studio, and just happens to enjoy wearing women's clothing. One day, he stumbles upon horror movie legend Bela Lugosi (Landau). The two of them became fast friends. Over the course of their friendship, Ed learns that Lugosi had an addiction to pain killers and tries to get him help, but to no avail. We witness the bizarre journey Ed takes trying to secure money to complete his film-making passion. His ideas include having a Baptist church support the film production, having transvestites featured in his movies, getting Vampira (played by Lisa Marie), an early version of  Elvira, and a wrestler (played by the late George "The Animal" Steele) to be in his movie, even throwing wacky parties. Even though most of his works are failures, Ed Wood never gave up.

      What I love about this movie is that it's about movie making, which I always had a passion for. Also, I loved the fact that the movie is in black and white because it captures the theme of the movie, a 1950s Hollywood low budget production. Let's not forget the actors' performances such as Johnny Depp playing the role of the eccentric Ed Wood. Martin Landau's performance as the legendary Bela Lugosi, it's as if he was the real life Lugosi! Not to mention the fact that he won an Oscar for his performance as this Hollywood horror legend. I also found it surprising that Bill Murray was in a Tim Burton movie! I mean, I know Bill Murray has been in a lot of stuff over the years, but a Tim Burton movie? No way! Murray actually played his character very well. This movie is everything! It showed me the do's and don't's of movie making.

                 Parents Guide: This movie is rated R for suggestive elements and language. Ed always likes to wear woman's clothing. There is a scene where Sarah Jessica Parker throws household objects at Depp angrily, for comical purposes. A young boy gropes a woman's breasts as a dirty trick.

                 Did You Know?: Production for this movie cost MORE than any of Ed Wood's actual movies. Tim Burton was drawn to this story because of the friendship he had with his idol, Vincent Price. Martin Landau's face had to be painted white to capture the black and white film stock. This was Tim Burton's first R rated movie.

Johnny Depp as Ed Wood and Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

       What's this? What's this? Another Tim Burton movie. This time, it's from Disney! It's the Halloween and Christmas classic, The Nightmare Before Christmas. By the way, Tim Burton didn't direct this masterpiece, Harry Selick did. But Burton did write the story and did the artwork in this movie. But what does it matter? What matters is that this is a perfect family movie for Halloween and Christmastime.
      Jack Skellington (played by Chris Sarandon), the king of Halloween Town, is tired of doing the same old stuff every year on Halloween. He wants to do something different. One day, Jack discovers the wonders of Christmastime. Inspired from the idea of Christmas, the Pumpkin King decides to take responsibility on spreading joy to the world with his own little twist. Jack shares his idea about Christmas to all of his friends. They love the idea of spreading Christmas joy. But Sally (played by Catherine O'Hara), disagrees with the idea of taking over Christmas, for she thinks it could end badly. Is she right?
      This movie is awesome! The story is immortal, it has both scary and funny moments, catchy songs by Danny Elfman (who also does the singing voice for Jack), and best of all, the animation. The stop motion animation is what caught my attention when I first saw it in the theaters in 3D back in 2006. I've seen Rankin/Bass stop motion animation before I saw Nightmare Before Christmas, but this kind of stop motion animation, Tim Burton style, it was like nothing I've ever seen before at the time. It's perfect!

                         
                  Parents Guide: This movie is rated PG for some scary images. There's some suggestive elements in the movie that kids may not understand. Also, some of the lyrics of some of the songs are a little dark.

                   Did You Know?: Tim Burton wrote a three page poem called "The Nightmare Before Christmas" back in the 80s when he was an animator at Disney. His inspirations were Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and A Visit from St. Nick ('Twas the Night Before Christmas). Horror movie legend Vincent Price was originally cast to play Santa Claus, but after the death of his wife, Price's health began to fail and his voice became weak. Vincent Price died in 1993, the year the film was released. Tim Burton considered to make this a TV special rather than a feature film. This was the first fully animated Disney movie not to be done with traditional animation (although some cel animation was used).

Tim Burton with the characters of the movie. 

Beetlejuice

     This is my personal favorite Tim Burton movie of all time. Beetlejuice is a combination of a horror and a comedy, and it works! The film stars Michael Keaton as the title character, Alec Baldwin (Hunt for the Red October), Gena Davis (Thelma & Louise), Winona Ryder (Stranger Things), and Catherine O'Hara (Home Alone and Nightmare Before Christmas).
      After a car accident killing young couple Adam and Barbara Maitland (Baldwin and Davis), the two of them are stuck haunting their own home. When Lydia Deetz's (Ryder) family moves into the Maitland's house, Adam and Barbara attempt to scare them. But no success. Their efforts attract a rowdy spirit named Betelgeuse (or Beetlejuice if you will) who offers to "help" Adam and Barbara, but has other tricks upon his sleeve. His help became a danger not only to Lydia's family but also to Adam and Barbara.
       Love this movie. It's so surreal and wacky, which is the definition for a Tim Burton movie. I loved the costumes and makeup, the art direction was perfectly original, and I especially love the musical number at the end of the movie. Most of all, this movie is hilarious!! The character of Betelgeuse was a riot! The "Banana Boat" scene was priceless. It was also kinda funny that famous people like croon singer Robert Goulet and TV personality Dick Cavett make cameo appearances.

                      Parents Guide: This movie is rated PG. There are some moments where it gets a little scary. There is a scene while Adam and Barbara pretend to moan the way ghosts do, Lydia thought it was her stepparents moaning while "doing it". There's also a scene where Betelgeuse visits a Whore House, after just saying he hasn't got any "action" for 600 years. Lots of Looney Tunes like violence in the movie, little bit of blood, but again, enough for laughs. There is some language and only one F-bomb dropped by Betelgeuse.

                 Did You Know?: This was Michael Keaton's favorite movie that he's ever done. The original plan for the dinner musical number was to be a song by a band called The Ink Spots. But Catherine O'Hara and Jeffery Jones wanted a calypso song instead. So they went with "Banana Boat" by Harry Belafonte. This movie was the first DVD sent out by Netflix in 1998, before they became a streaming channel.

Fan drawing of Betelgeuse and Lydia by Johnathan Reincke.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

   Welcome to Tim Burton week on my blog! For my first Burton review, I shall talk about Tim's adaptation of the dark Broadway musical, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Starring Tim Burton regular, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech), Timothy Spall (Secrets & Lies), and the late Alan Rickman (Harry Potter and Die Hard).

   Our story is set in the Victorian days of London. A barber named Benjamin Barker (Depp) had a beautiful wife named Lucy and a baby girl named Johanna. A vicious judge named Turpin (Rickman) accuses Barker of a false crime. After years of banishment, Benjamin Barker, now calling himself Sweeney Todd, returns to London to seek revenge on the judge. He finds his barber shop on top of a meat pie shop owned by widow Mrs. Lovett (Carter). Mrs. Lovett tells Sweeney that Turpin has taken Johanna, and Lucy killed herself because of the judge's lust for her. This angers Sweeney. And so, he reopens his barber shop where he lures his customers to the barber chair and kill them with a slit on the throat with his razor. His corpses are then turned into meat pies, with help from Mrs. Lovett. Now all Sweeney has to do is to convince Judge Turpin to give him a shave so he can get his sweet revenge.

    This adaptation is very Burtonesque, with Gothic hues, biting sarcastic humor, and larger than life characters. It differs from the original Broadway production, such as cutting the opening number and its closing reprise. But the visuals were so breathtaking, especially the "By the Sea" number, in which the scene was all bright colors while the rest of the movie was in grey hues. Johnny Depp, with his makeup done by Burton regular Ve Neill and his effectively gruff singing voice, totally captured the character for Sweeney Todd. Helena Bonham Carter's performance as Mrs. Lovett was as melodramatic as the film itself. And of course Alan Rickman's performance as Judge Turpin was exactly what you'd expect of a Rickman performance... outstanding. 

Parents Guide: This musical is rated R mostly for it's graphic, bloody violence. Definitely not for kids. There's some mild sex references in the film too, including a scene where it's implied that a woman was raped.  Not much profanity, just two uses of the S word.

Did You Know?: The original Broadway production premiered in 1979 with Len Cariou and Angela Lansbury. To prepare for the lead role, Johnny Depp recorded demo tapes of himself singing to get his vocals in shape. This is the second musical Johnny Depp has been in, but the first where he actually sings. (He lip synced in Cry Baby). Nicole Kidman (my favorite actress) was considered for the part of Mrs. Lovett.

Notice how the movie is shot in grey colorless hues.

Notice the color in this scene compared to the rest of the movie.

Tim Burton Week!

     Starting October 8th, I'll be doing a week of movie reviews of my favorite Tim Burton movies. Tim Burton is a talented animator and filmmaker known for his dark and gothic movies. He has made Beetlejuice (1988), The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), Edward Scissorhands (1990) and Mars Attacks (1996). Burton's visuals in his films are one of a kind. I mean the art direction, the costumes and makeup, even the stories are immortal! Every time you watch a Tim Burton movie, it just blows you away.

                                MONDAY, OCT. 8th: Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
                                TUESDAY OCT. 9th: Beetlejuice
                               WEDNESDAY OCT. 10th: The Nightmare Before Christmas
                               THURSDAY OCT. 11th: Ed Wood
                               FRIDAY OCT. 12th: Edward Scissorhands

Tune in next month for my Tim Burton reviews.

Rare photos of young Tim Burton at his early career at Disney.

 

 



Burton with Paul Rubens AKA Pee-Wee Herman on set for Pee-Wee's Big Adventure.

 



Burton with Jack Skellington and Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas.

Jerry Maguire

SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!!!!

       This is my favorite Tom Cruise movie. For those of you who have a troubled love life and a rough job, love sports like football, then this movie is for you. As you know, this movie stars Tom Cruise as the title character. It also stars Cuba Gooding Jr. (in his Oscar winning performance), Renee Zellweger (Bridget Jones' Diary), Kelly Preston, Jay Mohr, Regina King, and little Jonathan Lipnicki (Stuart Little and Zachery Beaver).
      Jerry Maguire is a slick sports agent with a successful job. He has it all, a lover, big clients, you name it. Then one day, after seeing a client in a hospital bed, Jerry has a problem of conscience, so he writes a mission statement that causes him to lose his job. Desperate to keep the athletes he represents, Jerry starts his own management company with only one person joining him, Dorothy Boyd (Zegweller), a single mother. Dealing with their one and only client, egotistic football player Rod Tidwell (Gooding), Jerry and Dorothy become infatuated as they battle to make their business work.
    What I love about this movie is that it has an emotional story, it has its funny moments, and it deals with sports. I've seen Tom Cruise in Risky Business, The Outsiders, and Rain Man, but Jerry Maguire, in my opinion, is his best work. I also loved Cuba Gooding's performance. He pretty much stole the show. And young Jonathan Lipnicki was super adorable. And let's not forget Renee Zegweller's performance as a mom and a perfect sidekick to Cruise. Above all, great movie. No wonder it was nominated for Best Picture.

Parents Guide: This movie is rated R. There are some sex scenes in this movie. Some brief nudity. There's some football violence, and a scene where Kelly Preston beats up Tom Cruise after a break-up. There's also some major language such as blasphemy, f-bombs, and other curses. 

Did You Know?: Tom Cruise cried when he first read the script. Jonathan Lipnicki showed up on set one day and said that the human head weighs eight pounds. This impressed Cameron Crowe, he wrote it into the script. The kid who said "F you" to Jerry was played by a young Drake Bell (Drake & Josh). 

 

 

To my mom, who hates Tom Cruise, but loves this quote above.

Billy Madison

     Well, it's back to school season, and what better movie to start school off with a comedy like Adam Sandler's Billy Madison? Now, I'm not a huge fan of Adam Sandler. But I like some of his movies, including this one. Sandler stars as Billy Madison in this funny screwball comedy that makes learning not that difficult. 

  Meet Billy Madison, a spoiled rich man child who spends his days being doing immature stuff like pulling pranks on people, drinking, looking at nudie magazines, chasing invisible penguins, and playing Nintendo. Billy's father Brian (Darren McGavin from A Christmas Story) was sick of Billy's behavior. After Billy ruined a special dinner, Brian loses confidence in his son and gives the family fortune to Eric Gordon (Bradley Whitford from West Wing). To win back his father's trust, Billy decides to go back to school to prove that he can handle inheriting his father's company. But he has to start way back to first grade. Billy must mature along the way too, especially when it comes to winning the heart of a teacher (played by Bridgette Wilson) who thinks Billy is a moron. 

   Movies like this proves that you need to grow up and be mature. 

     

            What I like about this movie is  Adam Sandler's performance as Billy. His performance reminds me of the late Jerry Lewis. Also, it's one of those rare moments where Adam Sandler does a good job in movies. Sure he was great in Happy Gilmore and The Wedding Singer, but films like Jack and Jill and Eight Crazy Nights, NOT GOOD. But Billy Madison, this shows that Sandler can make a great movie even though most of his other movies are failures.

     DID YOU KNOW?: The kids loved playing with Adam Sandler by tackling and jumping on him. In real life, Adam Sandler's mom was a nursery school teacher, and this is one of her favorite movies. David Spade (SNL and Emperor's New Groove) was considered to be in the movie.

     Parent's Guide: This movie may not be appropriate for kids. It's rated PG-13 for language and crude humor. There's some sex references here and there. Lots of swearing. And every now and then, some raunchy humor.

Pleasantville

                                     Are utopias always perfect? What do you think?
       Remember back in the day when Nick at Nite aired real classic shows from the 50s and 60s? Well, notice how everything looked perfect in those shows. Nothing goes wrong. Nothing inappropriate. Anything that goes wrong is fixed within half-an-hour. Wholesome meals are always ready on time. Mom is always pretty and perfect. Dad is always witty and wise. And siblings seldom squabble. But if we really look back to the 50s, is this what we would actually see? The movie, Pleasantville, examines the cracks in the plaster of the pristine TV sitcom world.
        Tobey Maguire plays David, a high school misfit who yearns for the simplicity of life in Pleasantville, his favorite TV show. His sister, Jennifer, played by Reese Witherspoon, is his opposite and turns her nose up at shows like Pleasantville while running wild with new-age freedoms. One evening, as David and Jennifer fight over the remote (David wanting to watch a Pleasantville marathon, Jennifer wanting to watch a concert on MTV with a date), they break the remote and a mysterious repairman, played by Don Knotts, shows up with a special remote. The remote transports the siblings into the world of Pleasantville, where David learns that things aren't so perfect, and Jennifer learns the restraint in its benefits of respect.  The TV repairman is frantic over the changes wrought by David and Jennifer and is desperate to bring them back to their own time. The siblings help the citizens of Pleasantville step into a more enlightened world while learning more about themselves. Ultimately, the story of Pleasantville is the story about being true to who you really are inside and affording others the respect to be who they really are.

My thoughts: The cinematography is simply magnificent. The effects of the actors turning from black and white into color is so breath taking. Yes, they used a transition from sepia to color in Wizard of Oz, but Pleasantville slowly transitions black and white into color by having certain objects and people turn into color. What I like about the story is that it shows that the 50s aren't exactly the good old days. In real life, couples would fight, we were scared of nuclear threats, we were at war with Korea, etc. But overall, this is a great storyline. It's as if it's a fairy tale, but it isn't. It's more of a real-life fantasy story. The only thing I would change is the cover of The Beatles' Across the Universe by Fiona Apple. It wasn't that good a cover. The moral is there's no such thing as a perfect anything. Think about that.

Did You Know?: The two books that Bud (David) narrates to the teens at the diner, "Huckleberry Finn" and "Catcher in the Rye", are two most widely banned books in America. The TV repairman was originally written for Dick van Dyke. This was J.T. Walsh's final film before his death. 

Parents Guide: This movie is rated PG-13 for thematic elements emphasizing sexuality, and for language. There's moderate sex and some nudity. A mob scene is included.

I'm Back!

Yes, you heard right. I am finally coming back to movie reviews. This time, it won't just be on classic moviee, it will be on modern movies too!

List of movies to do:
Caddyshack
Jerry Maguire
A League of Their Own
Stand by Me
Beetlejuice
Ed Wood
Sweeny Todd
Billy Madison
Zootopia
and more!